The Best Kept Secret

Recently Unk had a post on why going to the movies is or is not "special" any longer. Well, I don't go to the movies much these days. I work all day, have a wife and kid and finding time to go out to a movie is difficult. I can, however, throw in a dvd and watch a movie much easier. I have a big screen TV and home theater system, so I really do enjoy the movies at home.

So, Scott the Reader puts up some good words on Casino Royale and I love Bond, so what better flick to actually go to, right? Big effects, big action flick...woohoo!

Well, it takes me about a week to get to it...one thing or another always comes up to keep me out. Now, I have to catch the first show because I need to pick up my daughter by 6pm. I check online and the first show is at 2:50pm, so I've got to hit that show, the next is 3:55.

So, after a week or so of trying, I finally make it. Sit down...woohoo....lots of trailers. This is great - albeit, it's a tad louder than I remember, but, hey, it's Bond, right? The film comes up in B&W. WTF? ok... something arty... whatever. It's also open captioned... maybe it has something to do with the artsy thing.

So the music comes up and, yup, on-screen lyrics. I'm hoping this is a mistake. The screen is jumpy too, so I head out to talk to somebody. I grab a guy and tell him that the screen is jumpy and it's captioned. He steps in and says "oh, that's how it's supposed to be, but I'll get somebody to check the jumpiness." Just then a lady comes up and says, "i have to ask somebody to turn this down and fix the screen jump." I mention I've asked somebody already, but she keeps going since I didn't mention the volume.

I come back in and in a few moments, the screen jumping stops, but the captions are still up.

I pop back out to talk to somebody else.

I finally get somebody who says that it's supposed to be captioned. I've stepped into a film version/theater which is for the hard of hearing. I'm sort of dumbfounded.

Now, I don't mean to imply anything about deaf or hard of hearing people not going to see movies, but jesus, you think the theaters could fucking advertise this fact a little better? There was nothing online, on my ticket stubb or anything I came across on my way into the movie. You know where it was? Over the tiny little picture at the ticket booth...in like 20 point type "open captioned". I always buy at the little credit card machine - it's so handy.

My beef was first, when the hell did the start this? But it turns out since, like, the 90's. I don't know how I've been watching movies for almost 25 years and never come across it - either in the movies or in print. Talk about a great secret! If I'm a movie buff and I haven't seen it, how many people who actually WANT it are coming across it? And I just know the theater doesn't give a crap about publicizing it because they don't want only the hard of hearing showing up for the showtime. They want people like me waltzing in and just accepting the damn on-screen text.

Man, I'm here to tell you, my DVD experience would have been MUCH better in this instance. Sheesh... I'll be out to see Eragon and the museum flick later this month and it'd better be an improved experience or I won't be going back.

Strike 1 movie theaters.