Being in the Mood

For some reason, I just feel like I was so much more creative when I was an angst ridden twenty-something. Pain was great. It just poured out onto the page in sarcasm laden waves of prose.

I went through a phase where life was a peach, everything was great. Why write? No reason. I'm happy by golly!

Then I hit the wall.

Why write.

What's the fucking point?

It's all been done. If it hasn't, it will be. Besides, who cares?

Can't say which is the better producer for me though - good moods or bad moods. Sometimes, you're in that bad/depressed mood and you just can't stand to do anything but vegetate. Sometimes, when you're happy you really want to krank something out (not me, but perhaps you).

I know a lot of people who see a 'bad' movie and get all pumped up with "I can do better than that", but we should all know by now that what you see isn't necessarily what was written. Who knows who screwed up the film. Yes, I know there are some that are bad from start to finish, but we don't go aiming to do better than the worst do we? We aim to be better than something that's supposed to be good.

Some folks get inspired to write a great script when they see a great movie. While I could revert to the previous statement (who knows how much the movie was improved over the original script through rewrites by other folks), I'll just say that there are times when I think, "Yeah, that's freakin' great. That's exactly why I should let them do it."

I can find a reason not to write just about anywhere.

However, I can't stop either.

I've tried to quit. I stopped for a while after my child was born. Although I don't know how much was intentially trying to quit and how much was the sheer insanity of a newborn.

I also tend to create better at night than any other time. I wake up around 9-10pm. What really sucks is that in order to do my day job I need about 8 hours sleep, so I need to be in bed by 11pm-ish.

A really organized person would probably be able to plan that time and write, but me - I end up pissing away the hour or two and then I'm guilt-ridden over not doing anything *again*.

I really envy people like Ron Bass. I read years ago how he would get up at 4am to write for a couple hours before heading off to work. I don't know how people do it. Probably drive and ambition.

Well...now that I've started writing, it's 10:30 and I'm still in the mood, I think I'm going to go write... i.e. stare into space and think about my story...